The frustration of the Dutch in India is well known: why doesn't my Indian business partner just tell me clearly how things are going? On the other hand, Indians have difficulty with the directness of the Dutch, which they generally experience as blunt. Culture and communication trainer Nandini Bediassociate at IndiaConnected, explains where the mutual discomfort comes from.
A few years ago, I asked an Indian woman who worked at Tata Corus what for her is the biggest difference between the Netherlands and India. "It took me a long time to get used to the directness of the Dutch," she replied. I smiled and thought back to the times I was about to pack my bag and leave my Dutch partner after he had once again simply answered my question with 'No'. Simple, efficient, clear. Message conveyed. When he did that, it sometimes felt like a slap in the face.
I think the Dutch directness is an expression of transparency. What you see is what you get. Why else is it so easy to look inside Dutch houses from the outside? The surprised foreigner sees a neatly arranged living room. The message of a transparent, clear and honest people who have nothing to hide. Those windows seem to want to say: look, this is us.
What you see is what you get.
In addition, the Dutch directness is an expression of efficiency. Why spend a lot of time on a long explanation for your 'No' when you can just say 'No' (and get on with more important things)? If the recipient wants to know why, he will ask for it. If not, fine. That just confirms that the underlying explanation behind the messenger's 'No' is not that important.
This Dutch reasoning, which focuses on transparency and efficiency, contrasts sharply with what Indians, and with them most other peoples in the world, consider important: the underlying explanation. That is why Indians draw their listeners into their sometimes verbose story, so that their final answer does not come as a surprise, let alone as a slap in the face. Their answer is usually nuanced - and their story takes you through their considerations. This is how Indians usually communicate: indirectly.
Yet it is not always like that. Sometimes Dutch people tell how shockingly direct their Indian colleagues are. It is worth thinking about where, when and how this happens, because the way they communicate says a lot about India - and about the Netherlands, of course.
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